Lesson #4: There is no such thing as Superwoman

“Come on guys, half a turn more and we’ve finished today’s session! Push, Push, you can do it. You in the orange t-shirt – you’re not even trying, push HARDER!”

I’m aware that you can’t see me right now but if you could, i’d be the one in the orange t-shirt sitting on the sweat ridden spin bike, strategically sat the farthest back from the instructor for fear that she’ll pick on me (oops, too late), pedalling so fast that I don’t actually know if i’ll suddenly come off the stand and go straight through the gym window. My clothes are stuck to every ‘curve’ I have and my tank is now empty…oh and i’ve got to do it all over again tomorrow. Lovely.

Mid-way through every spin session, two similar thoughts go through my mind:

1. That Chicken Curry last night was so not worth this pain
2. Why the hell are you putting yourself through this you crazy lunatic?

Of course after the session I know why I do it because I feel great. I feel i’ve achieved something for me and always look forward to the next day where I stare at my new body in the mirror.

OK, can I be honest with you about something?

The real reason I really put myself through it is because I feel for some reason that to be classed as someone who has ‘made it’ in life, you have to have a bloody good career whilst having the body of Instagrams best Yoga-wear model (head stand on beach is mandatory). You’ve also got to have a very large group of friends and by large I mean that you are a member of at least three WhatsApp group chats. You need lots of regular group photos as evidence and finally, if you’re a mum (which i’m not), it seems that you have to be able to do all of this whilst looking after your offspring, working your core office hours, keeping the house looking spotless and cooking for your better half. I can’t keep up!

Writing every word of the above I realise that I simply can’t do it all and that this is my own challenge to overcome. I set my expectations too high and am destined to fail as a result. However, in my defence, this is a lesson I learnt only seven months ago when talking to my friend and is something i’m currently working on.

It’s all too easy to look at the TV ads and flick through beauty magazines, envying all of the women who have seem to have found nirvana and do seem to have it all. I don’t know about you but I certainly feel as though you have to achieve the same level of success if you are to conform in this society. I genuinely worry about the next generation of girls who aren’t as lucky as I am to have learnt that it’s simply not achievable, nevertheless putting themselves under immense pressure as a result.

Seven months ago when I realised I will never be that person, I also realised something else that I wanted to share with you. I learnt that you should find something you’re good at and focus every effort into becoming the best at it. Maybe you like running. If you do, aim for that marathon and don’t stop until you have your medal. Maybe you’re an ambitious woman who wants to achieve her biggest hopes in th board room. Work so hard that no one can stand in your way  and go get it. Perhaps you want to be the person your children look up to when they’re old enough to do so. Pour every inch of love and attention into your children. Support them until their ready to fly and never, ever clip their wings.

Success in life is whatever you define it to be. You should be proud of everything you achieve and of the person you choose to be.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

V